miercuri, 31 decembrie 2014

dreaming into 2015

Ending of an era. A bad one. 
Anything that comes my way, can only be better that the last 2 years.

Facem si noi niste rezolutii pt 2015, Sascha?
I know, pt tine 2015, 2016, or any other year, will be perfect as long as you can sleep carelessly next to me.

Si pt mine, la fel.
I've said it before: thank you 2014 for bringing sascha, and the others in my life.

Dear 2015, te rog, nu lasa cararea galbena prafuita si ajuta-ma sa fac pasii de care am nevoie pentru aducerea visului in realitate, complet. Asa cum stim noi ca e el. Everytime.
Cu pasi mici, alergand, sarind peste piatra cubica, dar mereu in miscare, te rog. Daca se poate in zbor. As in: repara'mi 2015 aripa lovita, sa pot zbura. 

Dreaming into 2015.

miercuri, 24 decembrie 2014

nameless lie

respect, royalty, magic.

in this lifetime, i chose to inspire.
to do that i need to trust. the moon, with all myself.
having trust issues is not part of my lifestile. so, if lies are flowing freely on your lifestream, go find someone who you can mingle your lies with. my time is limited.

i don't care who you are, whoever you are, doesn't stand a chance with all the lies.

how can you dream excellence when you life is based on deceivment?
well..seen this before. not an issue.

playing suits is not for everyone, harvey & mike are trustworthy. 

PS: when the lies will start hurting, remember, you crossed a line you shouldn't have.

marți, 23 decembrie 2014

Rudolfing..

Dear Rudolf,

maine, maine, iti pregatesc de mancare si te astept.
azi doar am pregatit cadourile. :) ca sa iti fie mai usor.

voiam ceva.. dar am lasat plicul acasa.. il gasesti tu acolo si il citesti pana vin inapoi.
anyway, in the Magic, i need to thank you, for finally making it stop.
Printre stele, vindecare, infuzie de speranta, thank you for all that happened this year.
It's been a hard year. Looking back, I can't say which one was harder, 2013 or 2014th, but still, I'm glad is over.

thank you for bringing Sascha into my life. another form of cloud, but, always here ready to measure my emotions and to set them straight. Ieri, nu voia sa plece de acasa. stim de ce nu voia. dar, Time will surely tell us both if it was worthed. i'd never imagined he'll just lighten up my aura this brigth, patching in the night, the wounds the light of day made on every feather.

thank you for my P.E.T. (personal emotional trainer). even though growing apart, when times are bad, he'll always be here to heal the parts of the aura, that need more strength than sascha has. pentru ca marimea conteaza cand intizi oase.

thank you for meeting the kids. in a life full of smart objectives and mean people, thank you for bringing them close to me this real, this year.

thank you for breaking the chains. the best days of the last 3 years, that i feel freed, and i know that noone, ever, will be able to chain my wings like that, for any. f. reason. i'm not sure that the one that broke them can see it, as he is right now too busy doubting the reasons of my existence and appearence in his life.
maybe it's time :) ? as in: "come, follow me, it's time" ?

thank you for not breaking my dream. and for bringing it real, near to me. so close. too damn close.

thank you for helping me move.

and for running 2 SM's.

and for resisting another year to the madness of the f. fee.

for keeping me sane.

for keeping me safe from harm.

for validating the bloodline.

for all.

thank you for the proof that mind rules over matter, anytime. but love rules them all.

so, for Xmas, dear Rudolf, can you please talk to Mr Time for me, and tell him I'm ready to receive my gift?

nik.

duminică, 21 decembrie 2014

reading of the year, at last

let's do some reading today.
e de bine.

the power of feedback, zice ca cine vrea sa stie din viitor, si ma intreaba, ar fi bine sa-mi spuna, dupa ce trece viitorul daca e cum am zis eu.
the power of feedback, zice ca i can empower positive, nomatter the feelings, pentru ca, din 13 stele cu potential, daca tot ne-am intalnit, sigur cel putin 3 sunt critice.
in doing so, when i say: "wear red for the meeting", "make the deal today", "speak your mind", "bear the moon, and forgive her"... ar fi bine sa imi dati feedback, sa stiu, for the next time, what the priorities are :) !

and then, again, when in trouble, my aries feel, chiar daca ai spune ca aparent berbecutzii nu simt. oh da, si inca cum. ai mei da. thanks God, there are aries in my life.

altfel cum de nu m-as fi speriat de opozitia asta, when i need flesh and peace and vision?
dar o stiu atat de bine... fiind ea din capitolul: opposites attract, Sun-Moon, Venus-Mars.
cum sa nu o simt in varful cozii, cand stim atat de clar ca I shine bright because I love Mars, although I decided to be born on that Magical friday!

in etapa in care sensitivity is expanding around me, stiu, de la prima vedere care sunt motivele pentru care imi plac unii oameni. si altii nu. cand Soarele il vede clar pe celalalt, si nu il intelege pentru ca il intriga, Luna a ales sa se aseze exact in Descendent. For life cum ar veni.
when I have a healing ascendant i Hate (ca si cum nu ar fi evident ca am mai multa grija de cei din jur in loc sa am de mine..) , you do have a fishy Moon, you hate, but you just decided to be born at the moment she was crossing my descendant. or have I made that choice?

well, don't hate the moon, for she rules over the sky at night, and the sun loves her so.
and i need mine to shine.

pentru ca Leii, s-au nascut pe lumea asta ca sa conduca jungla. we have that skill.
pentru ca Scorpiile, s-au nascut pe lumea asta, ca sa o transforme. we have that skill also.
pentru ca, thank god, cand stelele tale s-a asezat pe cer si te-au hotarat sa apari, au stiut, ca pe cerul lumii mele exista doar 11 zodii. si s-au asezat exact acolo unde trebuie ca sa poti fi ceea ce esti azi.

learning things the hard way.

pentru ca nu intalnim oameni by accident.

pentru ca ai ales sa apari in lume, aducand cu tine, all the passed karma. being out of your conform zone.. but all the good things are out there. expand the confort zone, will you?
i promise to grow wings in return. :) !

vineri, 19 decembrie 2014

my perfect gift

Dear Rudolf,

Multumesc pentru primul cadou.
si pentru al doilea.
si pentru al treilea.
si pentru toate cele ce vor urma... ca asa primesc copii cuminti.

Dar, mai ales multumesc pentru cadoul care ma asteapta sub brad, cumintzel pana in ajun. Impufosheaza-l pana atunci, just perfect for me.

S-au lipit atatea piese din puzzle in ultimele zile in realitatea asta, incat zambesc imaginandu'mi piesele lipsa.
Imi e complicat sa desenez piesele asa ca o sa le scriu. Ca am unde. Complicat si real.

Si vezi, stiu eu de ce, in orice zi a anului, dl walt are intotdeauna dreptate.
If i can dream it.. i can make it real.

And the dream started in '99, in the middle of nowhere, somewhere between what i want and what is easy to have. Guess what?

I know better what i want. Si, stii cum domnule Timp? Colegi de banca. I just have a feeling, ca erau colegi de banca, si ca visul asta este al meu cam de atunci. Ajuns pe alte cai, din alte lumi.

LoA, please bend the time over this lifetime!

Rudolf, thank you for collecting all the letters across this years.

miercuri, 17 decembrie 2014

safe & fluffy

Lingering. 
On the edge of a dream come true.
In the eyes of forever.
I don't want to wake up. 

Freezing from inside out without a chance to understand what i have to do.
I've waited for this feeling for so long, that now, having it, seems unreal.

And, as the words are harder to be found, with every second, i need to go to sleep, covered by your wings.

Afraid to move, so you won't dissapear.
Afraid to breath, so you won't feel me near.
Ever felt that safe.

sâmbătă, 13 decembrie 2014

when clouds do dreams

finding the E. rephrase: reading a book to confirm my E is E. as a feel it breathing :)

cum e asta ?
e din capitolul: intalnim oameni neintamplator, si eu in ultima vreme ii intalnesc ca sa invat si ca sa inteleg. si cei pe care ii aleg eu, ii intalnesc ca sa imi confirme teoria lui Marte. :) din cartea despre sufletul stelelor, de undeva din vietile urmatoare.

din capitolul exercitii de facut ca sa il identific, dupa zile in care m-am straduit sa desenez care sunt lucrurile pe care le fac on a daily basis and i love, si nu am reusit sa gasesc decat vise .. pentru ca de alergat nu mai pot..

s-a insirat pe o foaie alba in fata ochilor intrebarea:

"when different clouds come together, what happens to their dreams?""

well, my Dream needs validation. the kind of validation i cannot give. my Dream is mine forever and he doesn't have to prove anything. i'm neither dad, neither the fee.. i'm the f. Moon.

another one of those days i'd wish to not look at the sky. this time, the time listened, and broke my glasses.. letting me a bit blind, just enough to survive and to be  able to work.

stiu, saptamana trecuta v-am speriat. nu a trecut, nu o sa treaca probabil niciodata, dar am inteles de ce, si ma stradui sa gasesc o solutie neinvaziva. nu imi amintesc acu un an. dar, acu un an, eram acoperita din cap pana in picioare cu aura visului. and it shielded me. so, maybe it's time to put back the R. (nu ma mai intrebati de la ce e!)
si, totusi, sa nu uitam, ca, karma intotdeauna se intoarce, asa ca daca nu se termina cu gatul, durerea, raceala si toate celelalte specifice unei anume chakre, Mercury, my dear, it will get ugly.

si totusi, fara ochelari, am deschis si azi ochii larg, ca sa inteleg ca nu, nu doar mi se pare, ci chiar ajung la mine lucruri. daca ar putea sa nu ma ajunga unele, ar fi minunat.
dar daca asta inseamna ca trebuie sa blochez the E, then, prefer sa folosesc celelalte resurse.

but, as any other day, opening the eyes bright, all i see was lies, pain, issues. human stuff. that we all have, just that I am not sure i need to heal others. and the E yells: "of course you do, someone has to heal."
thank God I have my P.E.T. to heal me all along in the process.

so, what happens to the dreams of the clouds?
but, have you ever seen clouds dreaming? do they even know they dream?

uite, si pentru asta am nevoie de un printz. sa ma trezeasca si sa imi spuna cu toate cuvintele ca se va opri odata si ploaia. cum a rasarit soarele peste bucuresti dupa o luna, timpul va opri si ploaia, si o sa ma ierte si pe mine de la atatea lectii. chiar trebuie sa le invat pe toate in viata asta?
cand incep sa traiesc, domnule Timp ?

cand norii viseaza, viseaza cu toate labutzele in sus. tresar in somn, ca viseaza frumos, si se trezesc brusc, ca oamenii, cand au cosmaruri. problema viselor apare cand se intalnesc norii. ca daca sunt compatibili si se impletesc usor, visele lor nu sunt asa simple.
..si mai ales, visele, chiar daca sunt  la fel de simple, sunt in stadii diferite de indeplinire. oare norii lasa LoA sa isi faca treaba pe drumul viselor lor?
i feel old today. so damn old.
noroc cu Vladutz si Diana care imi amintesc in fiecare zi ca, o sa fiu old, abia in ziua in care devin ei majori. indiferent cand va fi aia, pentru ei, eu tot 17 ani o sa am. :) !

cred ca sunt suficient de clare visele, cu termene si conditii, obiective smart and all, incat, oricat de pierdut in univers ar fi printzul, sa poata vedea cararea galbena  catre linia argintie.
si da, stiu ca exista rani care aparent vor bloca drumul.

but anyway, i'll be here, testing the E, until i'll understand it completely.

l.o.v.e.